I'll Be Right Beside You, Dear
by christmasinacup
Summary: Set during episode 5x10: Rufus comforts Lily at the hospital as they wait for news about Chuck after the car accident.


I just imagined what was happening behind the scenes with Rufus & Lily... no matter what people say, I do think family matters to Lily, and I think that she cares about her family more than money or her image.

* * *

Lily stared at the vending machine in the waiting room. In her opinion, the colors were far too bright and cheery for such a depressing place. The dreariness of hospitals was one of the reasons she hated them so much.

"Lil?"

She looked up and saw Rufus, holding a cup of coffee in each hand. He sat down next to her on the stiff couch and handed one of the cups to her, putting his free arm around her shoulders. She leaned against him and took a few sips before setting her cup down on the table next to the couch.

"He's going to be okay, honey," Rufus said, kissing her hair. "He's Chuck. He's survived gunshots, massive amounts of alcohol, and many other things we probably don't want to know about."

Lily nodded and tried to keep a brave face. She put her hand on Rufus's cheek.

"Thank you, my darling. Your unwavering support is something that means a great deal to me."

Rufus nodded and half-smiled. Of course Lily would remain cool and poised, even in the face of such a terrible accident.

"Lily Humphrey?"

Lily and Rufus looked up and saw a nurse standing in front of them. Lily rose to her feet, and Rufus followed, still holding her hand.

"Yes, that's me."

"Blair Waldorf is awake and responsive. She can see visitors shortly. And Charles Bass is still unconscious. He has lost a lot of blood, but he still has a chance. Unfortunately, that chance grows slimmer by the hour. We will keep you updated."

Lily clasped her hand over her mouth and turned to Rufus, who hugged her close to him. Tears started the flow down her face, the kind reserved for only private moments. It wasn't often that Lily lost her cool in public, or in the presence of anyone but her family.

"Mom?"

Serena, Dan, and Nate walked over to Lily and Rufus. Rufus repeated what the nurse had told them, all while holding Lily close, protecting her. Serena rushed off to see Blair, and Nate and Dan gave Lily and Rufus their space.

Rufus led Lily around the corner to another stiff couch, and he sat down beside her.

"Lil, hey, look at me."

Lily lifted her eyes to meet Rufus's. Her cheeks were tear-stained, but her waterproof mascara had withstood her breakdown.

"Rufus, I… I can't lose him. Charles means so much to me... I love him as if he were my own."

"I know," Rufus said, tucking a stray lock of silky blonde hair behind her ear. "You heard what the nurse said, he still has a chance. Don't lose faith, okay? Like we said before, Chuck is strong. If anyone is going to beat the odds, it's him."

Lily nodded, but didn't seem convinced. "Rufus, I just… I feel so helpless. More so than on my first night in LA, when I was trying to find Carol. I was alone, and scared."

Rufus frowned. "I wish I could take some of this pain away, Lil, I do."

"I know," Lily said. They sat in silence for a moment and then Lily moved closer to Rufus, looking deep into his eyes.

"Rufus, this is how I felt when Eric…."

"Lily, I am so sorry," Rufus whispered, cupping her face in his hands. "When you first told me, I felt so terrible for not being there."

"Rufus, we weren't even speaking."

"I don't care. You had to go through that all alone. I can't even imagine…."

"It was the most terrifying day of my life," Lily admitted, tears gathering in her eyes again. "I felt as if I had failed."

"Oh, Lil." Rufus put his arms around Lily, holding her tightly. "You did not fail."

"Yes, I did," Lily said, pulling back and letting more tears run down her face. "I almost lost my own son because I wasn't there for him, and the number of times Serena has been hurt because I didn't recognize her many cries for help are too many to count. And now I've allowed Charles to get hurt. It almost makes me glad Bart isn't alive to see this."

"Lily, this is far from your fault. Please, don't beat yourself up over this."

"I will. Until Charles is alright," Lily stared at the floor. "I'm so sorry, Rufus."

"For what? You have nothing to be sorry about."

"Yes, I do. I am a horrible wife, a failure of a mother. Just think about how many fights we got in the first year we were married. Because I never let you in, because I let my image matter more than my family."

"You're here now, for your family," Rufus said, hugging her again. He cupped her chin and tilted her head so she was looking at him. "I've made mistakes too, but it's okay. You are a great wife, and a wonderful mother. Serena and Eric know it, and Chuck does to. He loves you, and he knows this isn't your fault. He is an adult, and more than that, he's Chuck Bass. He does whatever he wants, and you couldn't have foreseen or prevented this."

Lily nodded and sniffled, letting Rufus gently wipe the tears from her eyes. She leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Thank you. I love you, Rufus. I hope I never do anything to cause you to be hurt."

"Oh, Lily, you could never fail me. I love you very much, and I will be here for you no matter what. I will sit here with you all night if you want."

Lily smiled softly and drew back, putting her hands on his shoulders. "I want to be here when Charles wakes up, but we need to change." She gestured to her cocktail dress and heels. "Take me home?"

Rufus nodded. "We'll be back before anyone even notices we're gone." Lily nodded and gave him a half-smile, letting him escort her outside.

xxxx

Lily had changed into jeans, flats, and a comfy gray cashmere sweater. She was sitting on the couch and Rufus was on the phone with Dan. She had decided she wasn't quite ready to go back to the hospital, so they were stalling.

"That's great, tell Blair we're glad she's okay, and we're sorry about the baby. Okay. Bye."

He sat down next to Lily, who looked curious. "Blair is awake and okay, but… she lost the baby."

Lily frowned. "Oh, that's horrible. She must be so distraught."

"Yeah," Rufus nodded, stroking Lily's hair. He answered the question he knew she wanted to ask. "Sorry Lil, but Chuck is still asleep."

Lily nodded and tried to swallow the tears that were threatening to come back. "It's only been 2 hours, I didn't expect much to change." She rubbed her eyes and looked at Rufus sadly.

"But I hoped that maybe…" she started to cry again. Rufus took her in his arms and slowly rocked her back and forth. "Shh, it's okay, sweetheart. It's going to be okay."

Lily stared at him, fear in her eyes. "But what if it's not?"

Neither of them wanted to answer her question, but luckily they were saved by Lily's phone ringing. Lily cleared her throat and answered.

"Hello? Yes, this is she… he is? Oh, thank you...Thank you, so much. That's great. I'll be right there."

She hung up her phone and smiled at Rufus, her eyes shining.

"Charles is awake!"

Rufus hugged her and placed a kiss on her lips. "That's wonderful, Lil!"

She nodded and smiled again. "You were right. Everything will be okay."

"Yes, I think it will."


End file.
